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Tue, 18 Jun 2013 00:56:01 -0400

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Tue, 18 Jun 2013 00:50:15 -0400

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Mon, 10 Jun 2013 03:06:21 -0400

catholicnun: pureblindingcolour: pureblindingcolour hand...

Thu, 06 Jun 2013 04:06:11 -0400

catholicnun:

pureblindingcolour:

pureblindingcolour

hand drawn mandala

kush

hitterlick: top 3 things about me fuckin raw super chill funky fresh rule breaker

Tue, 21 May 2013 04:46:49 -0400

hitterlick:

top 3 things about me

fuckin raw

super chill

funky fresh

rule breaker

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Mon, 20 May 2013 02:36:10 -0400

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Mon, 20 May 2013 02:03:31 -0400

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Sun, 19 May 2013 04:38:21 -0400

too hot to handle white boy lucas

Sun, 19 May 2013 04:37:00 -0400

too hot to handle

white boy lucas

I usually look high

Sat, 18 May 2013 05:15:55 -0400

I usually look high

I’ve discovered so much about my anxiety attacks in the past few weeks I feel like...

Sat, 18 May 2013 04:55:13 -0400

I’ve discovered so much about my anxiety attacks in the past few weeks

I feel like a narcissist with how much I’ve really been looking into myself and my deeply rooted fears I wasn’t even aware I had until I started throwing up because I was hyperventilating and sobbing so hard.

It’s really the feeling of being trapped, and it’s not just the physical sense, a classic case of claustrophobia, though the entire Las Vegas strip knows I have that. More the emotional feeling of being trapped. I have lived in the same house since I was born, I’ve walked the same route to school everyday, I’ve interacted with the same people for the last 17 years and I’ve never explored another town than Vancouver, and Huntington beach. My parents have a strong, steady marriage, and my dad makes enough money to support my family with just one pay check. I’ve never had to struggle compared to some people really.

However, all my life I’ve watched my dad flush down pain killers at my granny’s house, as she showed me her outfits and jewelry that she wore when she was young. My granny was really the life of the party, she lit up a room when she walked in, she experienced so much, had many suitors. Sometimes my dad would have to run and pick her up because she snuck out of the old folks home to go gambling. But my granny loved her pills, she popped them back like tic-tacs, not even caring what they were. She had three sons with an Eastern-European, they loved each other but I don’t think they ever talked about their families or maybe not anything but each other, because her sons can’t even tell you what their dad’s real name is. All my life I watched as my uncle gave into paranoia, he became a hoarder and lost his life to heart disease. I don’t think people really know what a toll hoarding takes out on a person. I remember looking through an entire room of suit cases, literally an entire room, full of legal documents for my granny, to this day I don’t know what they were for all I know is that my father almost cried going through all of them. I watched my other uncle, the most generous and nice man I know, loose the ability to do the only thing that he ever really loved to do, ride a bike. I’ve never heard so many stories about bicycle rides.

I’ve watched my mother loose all contact with all of her family starting from age 7. She was born with her hip dislocated, and because of that received more attention from her mom than her older sister did. To compensate her father took her sister out all the time, they each had one parent. When their father died of a heart attack, her sister lost the loved she craved. My mom has never actually said it out loud, but she’s hinted at physical abuse she endured from her sister. The last time she even talked to her sister was when their mom died seven years ago.

I’ve watched as my brother visited his gay dad in PEI, not understanding how he even exists. I’ve watched as his girlfriend, suffered through depression of extreme sheltering from her mother after her dad died when she was 11 and I was just born.

I watched for a few years as my old best friends baby sister suffer from cancer and die at age 6.

My whole life I’ve watched everyone around me become trapped in their minds, or circumstance.

My parents can’t under stand why I am becoming angrier, sadder, border, and more prone to anxiety attacks as I am living out the life they wish they had: both parents alive, a stable family, a stable income. a stable home. And to be honest with you I don’t know the answer to that question.

All I know is that every time I think about how I’m going to be stuck in a small town going to a school I hate, eating the same meals, having the same routine, I break down and my mom finds me beside the toilet telling me I’m alright when we both know I’m not.

suckmyowldick: I would give everything for the power to fuck up...

Sat, 18 May 2013 03:17:22 -0400

suckmyowldick:

I would give everything for the power to fuck up bitches hair

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Sat, 18 May 2013 03:16:54 -0400

thelandbeforegay: okay

Sat, 18 May 2013 02:58:06 -0400

thelandbeforegay:

okay

let’s fuck

Sat, 18 May 2013 02:56:32 -0400

let’s fuck

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Sat, 18 May 2013 02:50:54 -0400

cybergay: cloudy with a chance of me not getting laid this summer

Sat, 18 May 2013 02:35:24 -0400

cybergay:

cloudy with a chance of me not getting laid this summer

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Sat, 18 May 2013 02:32:46 -0400

theonearm: baturday: Somewhere, deep in the underbelly of...

Tue, 14 May 2013 01:01:06 -0400

theonearm:

baturday:

Somewhere, deep in the underbelly of Gotham City, the Joker just snorted.

Robin can be such a Dick sometimes…heh…heheh.

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Sat, 11 May 2013 01:45:06 -0400

Good Vibes

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catholicnun: pureblindingcolour: pureblindingcolour hand...

hitterlick: top 3 things about me fuckin raw super chill funky fresh rule breaker

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too hot to handle white boy lucas

I usually look high

I’ve discovered so much about my anxiety attacks in the past few weeks I feel like...

suckmyowldick: I would give everything for the power to fuck up...

Photo

thelandbeforegay: okay

let’s fuck

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cybergay: cloudy with a chance of me not getting laid this summer

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theonearm: baturday: Somewhere, deep in the underbelly of...

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